I’m looking for advice and/or personal experiences dealing with the topic of serve child abuse, mental health and ‘where were you for all that time?’ (hospitalizations). I have been working towards a better life for my self since I was old enough to physically remove myself from my destructive and abusive childhood. I think under the circumstances I have done pretty well.

My step father was very violent towards my mother, my brother and myself. He also isolated us from people in this horrible house he built in the country (which he had designed to have adults living in one end and the children living in the other, he later moved us into the garage which was sickening). When my mother finally got the courage and means to leave him we spend the rest of my childhood in running from place to place. However he always found us and was obsessed with killing my mother. Despite restraining orders and keeping contact with the police he ended up hurting her pretty badly. Because of the backwards laws in Australia on domestic violence NOT being enforced as a serious crime he was never incarcerated. So he continued to hunt us and we continued to run. I went to about seven different schools during this time and had great gaps in my primary education.We did end up settling in a remote country that had very limited prospects for young people but I guess most people there had a ‘past’ so it was easier for us to hide what we had gone through.

After years of dealing with the divorce and custody battles, my mum mental health understandably declined. I was also dealing with issues relating to sexual abuse that I find to hard to talk about.

I made the most of our new environment and despite being so far from ideal it was better that anything I had experienced before. I finally had a chance to make good friends, have my own interests, do well at school, look towards a career after high school and develop my spirituality.

Sadly the pressure at home became immense and I just took its toll on me. I had become increasingly overly happy and became obsessed with my spirituality to the point I just lost touch with reality. A good friends’ parents took control and I spent time in an country hospital. Because it was in the aussie outback they didn’t have any psych facilities so I stayed the a few weeks until I had somewhat calmed down. Later I went into the worse depression imaginable and because I had limited knowledge on mental health, this lasted for many years untreated.

Since then my step father passed and my mother started to work on finding peace. She is still very unwell but I love her dearly and we have a healthy relationship.

I have worked hard at stabilizing my own mental heath with therapy and medication. I had a career in nursing then went on to study art (which I have always been passionate about). I meet my partner of over ten years and bought my first home.

However I did have a relapse in 2008 had ended up in hospital. They diagnosed my with major depression w/ psychosis (possible early schizophrenia) but some doctors believe its bipolar (im still only 28 years old so I don’t like focusing on diagnosis, more what treatments help me).

I do apologies for this question being so long, I have left out as much as I could. I guess its been cathartic to write this all down so thank you for reading.

So my question is more about moving on and having meaningful relationships with ‘normal’ people. Because I have worked hard at my education most of my friends are from comparatively healthy, emotionally and financially well adjusted backgrounds. I just don’t know many people who have messed up childhoods like mine that I can relate too. Its hard sometimes because when people ask about my past I have to leave out a great deal of detail to avoid questions. It can be very challenging to hind my past.

The majority of people I know would be horrified to learn what my life has been like. They don’t even know about my hospitalizations (I just went away for awhile interstate). I feel like if I would casually disclose anything it would just be like poison in their breathing space.

Does anyone else who has suffered abuse feel like this and if so how do you cope?

Hi guys

My mom has been smoking for about as long as I remember
when I was a little kid in DARE, I would try to hide her cigarettes, but she would just get really mad.

No matter how much she tries, and how much the rest of our family tries, she can’t quit smoking, and its taken a toll. She has emphysema and always seems to be getting sick. I just can’t imagine what would happen if her medical problems were to turn serious. Who would take care of me and my younger brother?

Its also had psychological effects. Shes getting depressed and anxious. I urge her to seek help, but shes too stubborn or too proud. We don’t have much cash on hand, so she never really can afford to buy cigarettes, but shes addicted and can’t quit all the same. Its her birthday coming up at the end of this month, and I want to cheer her up.

I was thinking I would buy her a few cartons of smokes so she could relax and take the edge off whenever she wanted.

Which brand do you guys think is the best? I think she prefers Marlboro, but variety is always a good thing. Also, is it true that menthol cigarettes are worse for you?

Ok, so this 800 number that says toll free call will call us about 8-9 times a day, and so i searched it, it just happened to be time warner, but they call so much that i was about to unplug our phone, it’s not even calling anymore, it’s more like harassment, its horrible, cuz no one answers the 800 numbers!!! Its annoying, so any idea of why they keep calling, and who they really are, they are probably not time warner. The number that keeps calling is- 800-222-5355, please help me, and my sanity! Oh, and can you call the police for phone harassment??? I need answers and quick, cuz today, my brother answered it, and they just kept calling!!! But they’ll stop after a while, they always call around breakfast (8:30-9:30), lunch (around noon), and about dinner time (5:30-7:00). Oh, and on the phone Time Warner Cab-956-425-5897 called about 25 minutes before the toll free call/time warner. So whats the deal, and is this normal! Im sorry for asking so many questions!

So her mother whom is very strict and mean to Charlene, her daugther, her past is revealed by Mrs. Maude, who is the lead supervisor at the convalescent hospital in which Charlene is now volunteering. Mrs. Maude details about her mothers past which Charlene finds particularly interesting considering her mother’s distaste for her and her extreme views about her dropping out of school. IN a nutshell thats what this has led up to.

—————————————————————————————————

I brushed the bangs from my eyes and set the box down at the table, “What is all of this stuff for Mrs. Maude?” I waited patiently for Mrs. Maude to respond.

She was unfolding chairs that were laid against the walls perfectly on top of each other. I watched as she struggled with one particular chair, then marveled as she slid the chair underneath one of the long tables. As much as I disliked Mrs. Maude I had to admit I was impressed. For a fragile old lady who was more than likely in her eighties or nineties she sure got around really well.

“Help me unfold these chairs,” snorted Mrs. Maude. “I expect that even someone in your position would be able to do that, then again I am not going to make any assumptions. God only knows what happened when your mother was working here as a care-giver, more like hell-giver.” She grunted with unfold a chair.

She continued, “She didn’t take to directions and had one of the worst attitudes and in all my many days, I had never seen such tantrums.”

Mrs. Maude began to mutter indecipherable words under her breathe.

She pushed another chair underneath a table then glared up at me when I had ceased from folding chairs,” I never said stop now did I, young missy?”

“Sorry, “I said and began to unfold chairs again. “My mother used to work here?”

I struggled with one particular chair with Mrs. Maude looking on and she smirked with amusement. She let out a heavy sigh then replied, “Unfortunately she did, she did not have any where else to turn to look for money.”

When all of the chairs were finished Mrs. Maude sat down, panting with exhaustion.” My, my age is catching up with me; I’m getting too old for this.”

Her face sourly grimaced and I contemplated whether she was about to faint or not. She was so small and frail that it seemed as if any gust of wind could break her in two. My resentment towards her lessened a bit as I watched as she regained her breath, hand upon her chest, heaving with exhaustion.

I pushed a chair out from underneath the table and sat down across from Mrs. Maude, patiently waiting for her to continue. I brushed the bangs out of my eyes, biting my nails, knee shaking with heightened anticipation.

“She grew up very poor and times were hard back then,” continued Mrs. Maude “Her mother did everything she possibly could to make sure her children were well taken care of, she had two boys and the oldest was her daughter, which was your mother.” She peered at me through her rimmed glasses like a hawk.

I remembered back to the argument my mother and I had. She had said, “Everything possible to make sure that you have the life I never had, I never got to go to college because my mother was too poor and we couldn’t afford it. I never got to—to live in a nice beach house.” I averted my gaze down towards my knees while a fresh wave of guilt tightened as a knot in the middle of my throat.

“And after your grandfather left your grandmother their primary source of income dropped significantly and they weren’t left with much but what little food and clothes they had at their disposal.” She walked over to the box extracting tissue.

Mrs. Maude blew her nose then continued, “Of course this did not break your grandmother’s spirit, she was proud, very proud and loved her children like none other.” Mrs. Maude smiled gazing up at the emptied white ceiling, eyes misting.

I edged closer in my seat, very much curious now and asked, “What happened to her mother, Mrs. Maude (I gulped having already guessed the answer)…?

Mrs. Maude wiped a tear from her eye, then with some reluctance spoke,

“Well, with your grandfather leaving, although your mother was very proud and raised her children the best she could all of this took a great toll on her health. As the years flew by and she saw your mother and her two boys crying for food and clothes she began to crumble under the pressure.” Mrs. Maude rubbed her eyes.

I shifted in my seat then asked, “So, then what happened?”

“Well,” sighed Mrs. Maude. “Your grandmother thought of leaving your mother and her brothers alone with enough money to last them a month or two,” she grunted then continued, “But decided against it and did whatever she could to make sure that her children were well fed and had plenty of clothing for the coming seasons. When they were old enough she had them attend school.”
I sat with either legs splayed around the chair, leaning against

Can anyone help me - unsure what to do. At the moment I live in a brand new city centre apartment, close to everything I need. I work from home so can move anywhere. I am wanting to save up a deposit to buy a house. I have 2 options, either stay where I am (paying £550 a month for an apartment) and save around a £10,000 deposit - or my second choice is to move 18 miles away to a small market town in the countryside and rent a 2 bedroomed victorian house in the market place surrounded by shops. It is only £350 a month, which will allow me to save an extra £10,000 on top of the £10,000 I was planning on saving, but would mean moving away from all the luxuries and convieniences I have living in a city centre. The property is small, 2 rooms down and 2 rooms (box rooms) upstairs, and a tiny kitchen with the bathroom off the kitchen. It is clean, but an old victorian property overlooking the main street (door onto pavement) and rear back onto churchyard.

my husband and i want to go on vacation to the carribean this fall. specifically thanksgiving weekend b/c that’s whats best for us as far as work and childcare. we are wondering if last minute travel deals are always better than booking in advance PRICE wise, not super picky about specific amenities or luxury anything. online pricing, it seems that as of right now, jamaica seems to be the cheapest, but we always hear that last minute deals are awesome, just don’t know if thanksgiving weekend might actually be MORE expensive or less expensive compared to other weekends. my thinking is that most people fly home to random places in middle america, rather than fly out to vacation destinations??? or might there be many of us hoping for the same deal?

So her mother whom is very strict and mean to Charlene, her daugther, her past is revealed by Mrs. Maude, who is the lead supervisor at the convalescent hospital in which Charlene is now volunteering. Mrs. Maude details about her mothers past which Charlene finds particularly interesting considering her mother’s distaste for her and her extreme views about her dropping out of school. IN a nutshell thats what this has led up to.

—————————————————————————————————

I brushed the bangs from my eyes and set the box down at the table, “What is all of this stuff for Mrs. Maude?” I waited patiently for Mrs. Maude to respond.

She was unfolding chairs that were laid against the walls perfectly on top of each other. I watched as she struggled with one particular chair, then marveled as she slid the chair underneath one of the long tables. As much as I disliked Mrs. Maude I had to admit I was impressed. For a fragile old lady who was more than likely in her eighties or nineties she sure got around really well.

“Help me unfold these chairs,” snorted Mrs. Maude. “I expect that even someone in your position would be able to do that, then again I am not going to make any assumptions. God only knows what happened when your mother was working here as a care-giver, more like hell-giver.” She grunted with unfold a chair.

She continued, “She didn’t take to directions and had one of the worst attitudes and in all my many days, I had never seen such tantrums.”

Mrs. Maude began to mutter indecipherable words under her breathe.

She pushed another chair underneath a table then glared up at me when I had ceased from folding chairs,” I never said stop now did I, young missy?”

“Sorry, “I said and began to unfold chairs again. “My mother used to work here?”

I struggled with one particular chair with Mrs. Maude looking on and she smirked with amusement. She let out a heavy sigh then replied, “Unfortunately she did, she did not have any where else to turn to look for money.”

When all of the chairs were finished Mrs. Maude sat down, panting with exhaustion.” My, my age is catching up with me; I’m getting too old for this.”

Her face sourly grimaced and I contemplated whether she was about to faint or not. She was so small and frail that it seemed as if any gust of wind could break her in two. My resentment towards her lessened a bit as I watched as she regained her breath, hand upon her chest, heaving with exhaustion.

I pushed a chair out from underneath the table and sat down across from Mrs. Maude, patiently waiting for her to continue. I brushed the bangs out of my eyes, biting my nails, knee shaking with heightened anticipation.

“She grew up very poor and times were hard back then,” continued Mrs. Maude “Her mother did everything she possibly could to make sure her children were well taken care of, she had two boys and the oldest was her daughter, which was your mother.” She peered at me through her rimmed glasses like a hawk.

I remembered back to the argument my mother and I had. She had said, “Everything possible to make sure that you have the life I never had, I never got to go to college because my mother was too poor and we couldn’t afford it. I never got to—to live in a nice beach house.” I averted my gaze down towards my knees while a fresh wave of guilt tightened as a knot in the middle of my throat.

“And after your grandfather left your grandmother their primary source of income dropped significantly and they weren’t left with much but what little food and clothes they had at their disposal.” She walked over to the box extracting tissue.

Mrs. Maude blew her nose then continued, “Of course this did not break your grandmother’s spirit, she was proud, very proud and loved her children like none other.” Mrs. Maude smiled gazing up at the emptied white ceiling, eyes misting.

I edged closer in my seat, very much curious now and asked, “What happened to her mother, Mrs. Maude (I gulped having already guessed the answer)…?

Mrs. Maude wiped a tear from her eye, then with some reluctance spoke,

“Well, with your grandfather leaving, although your mother was very proud and raised her children the best she could all of this took a great toll on her health. As the years flew by and she saw your mother and her two boys crying for food and clothes she began to crumble under the pressure.” Mrs. Maude rubbed her eyes.

I shifted in my seat then asked, “So, then what happened?”

“Well,” sighed Mrs. Maude. “Your grandmother thought of leaving your mother and her brothers alone with enough money to last them a month or two,” she grunted then continued, “But decided against it and did whatever she could to make sure that her children were well fed and had plenty of clothing for the coming seasons. When they were old enough she had them attend school.”
I sat with either legs splayed around the chair, leaning against

About 3 months ago my best friend lost her little brother in a terrible accident. Throughout the first two months of him not being here anymore, she seemed to be doing okay. She held it together well, for her friends, and her mom. and she is still trying to but i think its taking a toll on her.

She holds back her feelings. She has developed extreme OCD about a lot of things, especially how much she works. Its like an addiction to her. its all she talks about, its all she does. She works almost 35 hours every week, if she does not reach around 30 hours she stresses out and starts to panic(she is a junior in highschool.) I believe this is how she is taking out her grief. She likes to be alone all of the time. she has become increasingly forgetful.

Shes so different from the first two months after his death. Is it because it might just be hitting her now? I feel helpless, like all i am doing is sitting here watching my best friends heart and sanity break, and all i want to do is somehow help. I know all i can do is be there, listen and comfort her but there has to be more that i can do. Please if you have any experience with this would you please tell me what you would want? any advice at all is much appreciated. thank you!

My parents have a rule that me and my sister can’t date until we’re out of high school. About 3.5 years ago my older sister met a guy sophmore year and began secretly going out. At the time, she would drag me along on their dates (in the mall), so that my parents didn’t think they were going out. I was always the third wheel because I wanted my sister to have fun and be happy. whenever they had group gatherings at the mall i would of course invite my friends but overtime my ‘friends’ got tired of having to be around the happy couple. Eventually my ‘friends’ began to ditch me and hang out amongst themselves, never inviting me with them or they would cancel last minute on me , leaving me all alone with my sis and her boyfriend(of the time). Then 2 years ago, while we were in greece for the summer to visit my grandparents andtake care of my sick grandma, my sister met another guy(like 2 wks before we left). when we returned to greece last year she used me once again, by dragging me out just to be the third wheel again, because she wasn’t allowed to go out unless i went with her. i had a crappy summer becuase i was being used again and had no friends there to talk to, while my sister was being all lovey dovey with the new guy… now this year my sister has a new boyfriend and the other night i repeated the entire 3rd wheel ordeal all over again. my sister wanted to go out with her boyfriend to a club with his brother/friends. my parents told her she can’t go unless i go because they didn’t want me to be left alone(since they had plans that evening) and i completely snapped. I screamed at my sister telling her i’m not going out and being used, etc.. she completely twisted this around by saying she’s taking me out because i’m always home (siince i don’t have any friends anymore) and i need toget out. After my sister worked her evil, and made me feel guilty for ruining her night, i gave iin and went out with them. at the club his brother was with his friends and my sister and her current boyfriend were with each oother, i was once agaiin left all by myself, with nobody… when we got home aaround 4 that morning i told my sister off and haven’t spoken to her since. I’m completely pissed at her and i feel very depressed. over 3 years of thsi crap has taken its toll on me and ican’t deal with this bull crap.. … I have tried to talk to my sister about everything but she just doesn’t care or cuts me off because she doesn’t want to hear it…. Am i overreacting by being a bitch to my sister and ignoring her?… ALSO… Am I a loser for wanting to stay home and be alone all the time? (i would rather be alone by choice rather than going out and be surrounded people and still feel alone and alienated/ignored…. i really have no freinds anymore… and been having friendship isssues for several years)…..

I have read in many religions and self called spiritual leaders that money, riches and in general rich materialistic life it is not good.
Many of them try to pass the message that any fleshy desires are evil and only when u are poor in materials u will get paid in the other life eternity.

So why God in the first place made the material world?
why did He gave us bodies?
why he made us able to have sex?
why he created us with the concept of beauty and perfection?

I agree that some people have gain riches in a very negative way like killing or stealing or take advantage of other people, with slavery etc….
but there is also the healthy mental way that the smart ones can clearly understand there is wealth in this world for every single person.
Or we can create our own wealth.

Living example of a person like this is Bill Gates, he had a vision he made it real , he gave to all people the opportunity to connect and have a pc in our homes and he is giving so much to the people who are in need and to scientific projects.
He didn’t had to kill or steal or dig for gold or to have slaves to work for him in diamond mines.
I believe it is in our nature to want to be rich and live a luxury life without hurting anyone either to get greedy and sick for money or the big lifestyle.

We can be rich without connect that all rich people in general have a life style poor in moral and ethical values just because few had it like this.
Because poor people are doing things low in moral and ethical values anyway.
I believe we should balance the material and the immaterial world and we should embrace both. And not divide them, one is bad and the other is good.
Both are very good for all people in this world.
I wish for all people to be rich and healthy and happy like I wish for my self. And I believe many many people are doing the same.

Sorry for the long subject…….