Hi, i’m from Nigeria, Ikeja in Lagos to be exact.

I had the luxury of visiting the family of an African American penpal in a town near New York City and people in USA have a great quality of life. They self-identified as low-middle-class but all 3 of their kids has their own bedroom and the family had 2 cars. The kid all had TV in their bedroom. Back home that family would be considered upper middle class.

Do even below-average incomed people have live in such luxury as that? Why do so many American seem so unappreciative of their material wealth?

Hi. I am an 18 year old female who recently graduated from high school. I have two other siblings, a brother a sister. My sister is 13 and my brother is 22. We lost our mother 9 months ago and it has taken a toll on our family in the WORST way. Our younger sister and her father used to live with us, but they no longer do due to the fact that my brother and my sister’s father has a huge blow out and it was her father’s decision to stay with him although he is a major alcoholic and does not look out for his daughter. Now she has turned into being a complete whore, a smoker, drinker and frequent ditcher in school and she is 13, it seemed like her bad behavior has trippled since my mother has died and she feels like she can get away with ANYTHING since her father is drink 24/7. Everyone know it’s unhealthy for her to stay with someone who is an alcoholic, but us, her siblings can’t do ANYTHING about it, so so be it.

Okay, so they left, now next who was left is my little nephew who is 3 months old, my brother’s girlfriend, myself and my brother. Recently, my brother and his girlfriend had a fallout because my brother quit a job that she had found him that makes $2,000/month after ONLY two days. He KNOWS we need help with the house, so since he refused that job, she left. She visits frequently with the baby, but the baby nor her permanently stays there and I’m unsure if she is any longer help us out with the bills.

Okay, so they left, and now that’s left is me and my brother in this big house. Our house is going to be taken away because we recently found out my mother owed $11,000 in property taxes and there isn’t anything we can do about that. I am the middle child, the ONLY one without a father in their life since day one, I don’t have any close relatives, so truly, my mother, my brother and my sister was the only family I had, and now that everyone is apart, it’s got me done and very depressed lately.

I have chosen for my own sake to move in with my boyfriend and his family for the time being next month until I can find my own apartment. I just recently graduated from school and just out of loss where to go, I feel like I’m on my own. Work right now is an option before a college or university. I’m trying to find a job, but no luck. On the other hand, once I leave the house, it will only leave my brother who is a irresponsible, selfish, all-about-games-weed-and-drinks guy. I am VERY VERY afraid to leave this house knowing he will be the only one living there. I have been the only one cleaning and sadly picking up after him and he is VERY VERY dirty. I’m afraid, he’ll invite all his low-life friends one weekend or whatever (4th of July is coming up and I think I’m gonna be gone by then) and get drunk and ruin everything we have in that house or the house will get abandoned or bills won’t get paid. This is insane, because I shouldn’t have to worry about a grown man and my decision upon hesitating to leave shouldn’t be based on some 22 year old adult who will possibly ruin everything I AM VERY AFRAID! I rather no one live in the house if I’m not going to! I spoke with my counselor about this situation before I graduated HS and she told me that I should NOT have to worry about him, but I don’t, I worry about the house and the possible drama he could bring. I know my mom is so disappointed in his actions right now. I believe my last social security check I get from survival benefits is at the end of this month. I would used help out with the bills at the house and so would his girlfriend and my brother wouldn’t do ****, but I can no longer do that anymore, all of this money has to last me a while ’til I finally get hired from a future employer. My counselor told me it is possible, since I have suffered from ongoing depression for 4 years that I could sign up for disability, so I will check that out and she has also given me a number (I have yet to call it) about some agency is willing to help me out for an apartment. *sigh*, I really don’t know how to form this question… so I just ask for advice about what to do… what should my brother do? *sigh* I don’t know, I just need some help and guidance. PLEASE!

I live in a luxury apartment complex on the beach. Rooms start at $2000.00 and go up from there. They started relaxing the standards because of the economy and will now let more people room together. The landlords had to do this because they were losing money.

Lately they have been letting a few people in who exude a bad image. One of the new “tenants” are 3 black guys sharing a one bedroom who are covered in tattoos and wear hip-hop and gang inspired clothing.

I don’t feel comfortable around this image. Please: for all of you knee-jerks out there who area screaming racism it’s important to understand there are already black people in the building who have money to live here. But they are not covered in tattoos and are very educated and well spoken and have expensive cars etc.

Bottom line: I don’t want to live around people who look low class, are covered in tattoos, dress hip-hop, talk ghetto, and exude the image of a street thug. Again the ONLY reason these tenants can afford this is because 3 people are living in a one bedroom apartment. They also appear to have aqquired student loans to pay the rent.

I do not want to have to look at them. I don’t want to feel “forced” to say hello in the elevator (as was the case before I sat down to write this. I don’t appreciate the intimidating, head held high (as if to say we are high class too and tough so don’t fuck with us) demeanor they exude. The reason pay so much money to live here is because I don’t want to have to live around people who dress like that, look like that, act like that.

The first thing that jumps out are the tattoos. All are covered with them. The guy has a spider on his neck playing basketball and one of a naked women on his arm and all kinds of writing with a few “home made” (probably got them in prison) on his hands.

I want to discuss this with the landlord as I feel it’s contrary to the kind of environment they want to have here. I believe a good way to weed this out is with tattoo discrimination. However I cannot find any laws against such discrimination. Does this mean it’s technically legal?
Can a luxury condo/apartment complex legally discriminate against people with tattoos?
@ Victoria.

You are an absolute ignorant small minded idiot who cannot even construct her sentences correctly.

First of all. We can never “know” anyone. There may very well be some people who are more negative in the building. But they don’t advertise it. All we can do is go by what we see which includes how that person behaves, presents themselves etc. The saying “act like an idiot get treated like one” is time tested and true. You should have first hand experience with this.

If you are going to present yourself in a certain why your damn right I’m going to “judge” you that way. If I see someone in a soldiers uniform am I “judgemental” for thinking they might be in the military? If I see someone dressed as a fireman am I “judgemental” for thinking they might work near firehouse? If I see a man dressed as as women am I “judgemental” for thinking that person is a transvestite?

The landlord is bound by fair housing laws. He HAD to allow these 3 thuggish looking black people in the

http://www.wmal.com/Article.asp?id=2225336

FAIRFAX, Va. — Resort-style swimming pools with fountains and heated spas, billiards rooms, granite counter tops, ceramic tile, indoor basketball courts, stainless steel appliances — many Fairfax County taxpayers cannot afford such luxuries. But they are paying for these amenities for use by low-income residents who live in subsidized housing in affluent neighborhoods.
“They’re a part of our rental program where we subsidize the rents for the individuals in the units, and we end up having to pick up the condo fees,” supervisor Pat Herrity told 630 WMAL News.
Herrity does not advocate putting low-income residents in “ghetto-style” housing but he takes issue with taxpayers who cannot afford such luxuries being forced to pick up the tab for people who qualify for subsidized housing.”These are resort-style amenities that the majority of the taxpayers that are subsidizing it don’t have on their own,” said Herrity, adding that “luxury has no place in subsidized housing.”"If the occupants of these homes improve their lives financially, they will be forced to move out. And the housing they could afford without the taxpayer subsidy is well below the quality of these homes,” he said.
Herrity said Fairfax County should sell subsidized housing units located in affluent neighborhoods and stop paying the condo fees.”Why would we have taxpayers who are trying to work their way into these neighborhoods pay for somebody else to be put into these neighborhoods,” said Herrity.

Pictures of the houses for the low income earners
http://www.630wmal.com/photowallphoto.asp?WallID=68021&photoID=4789003

With benifits like these, losing this style of living by trying to increase your living standard (irony) is really hard for the “poor” to give up such, or at least it would not be a rational decision by any standard.

Anyways, what are your thoughts on this specific situation?

Lately (for the past few months) I haven’t been able to concentrate on most of my subjects at school, I am a 14 year old girl by the way. I’m fine when it comes to doing something I love but things I don’t like go downhill.
I searched up the symptoms and this came up
–Doesn’t pay attention to details—- yes
–Makes careless mistakes—- sometimes
–Has trouble staying focused; is easily distracted—- YES!
–Appears not to listen when spoken to —- people ALWAYS tell me this and i can never pay attention when someone is talking to me.
–Has difficulty remembering things and following instructions—- sometimes
–Has trouble staying organized, planning ahead, and finishing projects —- Yes
–Gets bored with a task before it’s completed —- DEFINATLY
–Frequently loses or misplaces homework, books, toys, or other items —- not really.

I show 5 of the 7 symptoms above… is that something to think about?
In english if we are reading a book i love it is alright but if it is a book i don’t REEEAAAALLLY enjoy it take me 5 to 10 minutes to read a SENTENCE!
Its taking a toll on my schoolwork. When ever i need to do homework I end up doing something else even though i want to do my homework, i just cant seem to do it.
and during class when the teacher is trying to teach us something i zone out into my own world and someone has to snap me back into it.
in 2 days i have a newspaper report and an essay due just for english, then i need to learn alot of triginometery by friday and i just feel so stressed out because of this!

what should i do!??? I don’t want to talk to my mum because when ever i suggest something is going on with me she just says im a drama queen even if i show her symptoms… and my brother just had an accident with his eye so i feel i dont want to trouble her.

WHAT DO I DO!>!?!?!? does it sound like i have inattention ADD????

Okay, I’m going to start this off by saying that I need some clarification on how to deal with him and his parents, because frankly, this pisses me off. My mum married him a while ago, and frankly, I do like him, he’s a decent guy, and it’s been hard the past few years because he’s a soldier, and it’s been taking a toll on our little family. ANYWAYS, I’ve been smoking since I was 15 years old (yeah, I know, don’t lecture me on it) and I’ve always dressed alternative, and have always had strong opinions on certain things like the government, law enforcement system, mainstream music these days, Education system ETC. I’m not an academically minded person and I want to peruse a career in music, but my Stepfather was the ‘good, nerdy’ type in high school, and with the way he ‘governs’ the family, I’m the square peg in amongst the cylinders. He doesn’t like my taste in music, and flat out refused to lend me money AFTER I had cleaned the house up so I could buy a Dead Kennedy’s CD, because he doesn’t like the ‘noise’ I play. We got in to a fight over how I don’t do well in school, and how I refuse to conform in a uniform public school (don’t ask me how that works) And tossed my Doc Martens across the house, and yelled at me. and it’s always been this way, and when he found out I smoked, he basically looked at me and said “Your a disappointment” And started shunning me all these years. I come home with my nose pierced, he yells and says it’s ‘not ethical’ and that No one would hire me at a job with that piece of metal sticking out of my face (I then later got a call from a music store and had gotten hired, and acted a little smug) And then there’s the grandparents, now, don’t get me wrong, I love them, but the littlest brother gets all of their attention, they talk to him, and the last time I visited them they said a total of six words to me, then they got mad after I had told them that the milk they had was sour. I try my hardest to be nice to them and to not swear around them, but the last fight I had involved all of them, I said ‘fuck off and stop telling me how to live my life’ and I stormed out of the house, then later when I returned, they where talking about me and how I was ‘wild” and that I needed discipline. What the fuck is their problem anyways? I’m going to talk the way I want to, I’m going to stick up for my beliefs and I’m going to live my life the way I want to, and I’m wondering why they can’t just accept who I am and move on?

My and my mother got into and argument and i wanted to leave home, its kind of a 2 sided thing i was going to leave home and never talk to her again its not like i dont have anything i have plenty of luxuries

Okay here is some background. I am a 20 year old girl and my neighbour is a 16 year old guy. I have grown up with him and known him my entire life. The problem I am having is that I think he and I are both developing feelings for one another. When I am with him everything feels right, but when I step back and think about it (like right now) it feels so wrong. I keep asking myself so many questions and I can’t find the answers to them, so maybe you guys can give me your input..

So here is some of the things I am thinking about:
Do I really like him? Or is it just because we are so close that I feel so comfortable and everything. Or because I am emotionally attached, perhaps??

Am I mistaking these feelings for other ones? Like do I like him or am I mistaking it for a love as a friend and/ or a brother type of love?

Is it wrong for me to like a younger guy? I don’t think about my age when I’m with him, only when I’m not with him. I also want to make it clear that I would NEVER try anything with him at this point. He and I are at different stages in our lives and these are critical stages. I would only try something if it worked out later in life.

I also leave for college in August, so maybe my emotions are going crazy because I will be very far away from home, before this I attended a community college that was very close to my house and lived at home.. so I feel like maybe going away could be taking an emotional toll on me.

Anyways, I don’t know what to think or how to feel. Do I like him? or am I just used to him being there? Is it bad for a 20 year old girl to have feelings for a 16 year old guy? Are these feelings here because I feel lonely? I haven’t been in a relationship for a couple years, I have been concentrating on my education. I just don’t know what to do or what to think anymore. I’m so confused..

What do you all think? Have any of you been in this situation, whether its with age difference or not being sure if you truly like someone or not.. please give me your input.

My uncle is being charged with fraud after being accused of stealing a deceased man’s money. The deceased man’s brother, who is suffering from dementia, accused him and was somehow found competent by a judge to press those charges. He is only serving 18 months, but I am so close to him. Almost a year ago my fiance suffered a miscarriage when she was nearly 5 months pregnant. It really took a toll on me because I was only 17 at the time and I sacrificed a college scholarship to raise my baby girl. Anyway, my uncle really helped me a lot and without him, I don’t think I could have gotten through the pain and saved my relationship. It sounds corny and sh*t but I can’t even imagine life without my uncle around everyday for his constant support.

I’ll go through a few scenarios for you. Am I afraid of independence, paranoid (like the rest of my family), afraid of getting things wrong, being alone or something else?

For example (I’m almost 16):

I’ve been catching the bus by myself for nearly 2 years. Before and sometimes on the bus I feel nauseous and sometimes a little shakey. As a general rule if I’m with a friend I’m better - but still nervous.

I fly with my parents and brother often but last week I flew alone with my little brother. I did it fine and it wasn’t a problem but I had mixed emotions. My mum (being paranoid) requested we have some assistance. I was really mad because I felt like I was being treated like a kid - which I’m clearly not. On the other hand on the plane when filling out immigration cards I was really nervous and felt a bit hopeless and that I wasn’t ready to be looking after my brother and myself (he’s 13 and has ADD).

Finally today - I’m with my parents in a country we used to live in - so I know fairly well. (we moved there when I was 10, then moved back when I was 13). My mum said my brother and I could take the train somewhere and I started freaking out. Thankfully she changed her mind but yeah.

No one else my age seems to have these troubles and I find it really pathetic. I think I just have trouble with independence, or I’m terrified of failing or saying something stupid. As much as I desperately want independence and want to be treated like an adult, I can’t seem to grasp it. Everyone has always done everything for me and now having to grow up and get away from it is taking it’s toll.

Any advice to get over this would be greatly appreciated.