Open Question: How exactly do you know if you abuse laxatives?

22/02/12

Kind of long… sorry.

I don’t know if I’m technically bulimic. Over the past summer, I’ve been obsessed with losing weight. I’m sixteen years old and I’m 5′6″. I weigh 176 lbs. I know I’m over weight, I know that. I was recently 198. But back to the main thing. I started getting on the scale everyday. I don’t like seeing my weight go up to 178 lbs or even 176.5 lbs. I only like going down. So, almost every Saturday I’m taking a gentle laxative. Milk of Magnesia. Then my weight goes back down. Am I abusing this? Like today, I had steak and stuff and while eating it all I kept thinking was “?y stomach is going to stick out and I’m going to get fat. I shouldn’t eat this. I’m gonna take a laxative to get rid of it.” But then I just eat and eat and eat until I take the laxative and step on the scale. I’m not satisfied until it goes down.

I don’t binge because I don’t like throwing up and I can’t bring myself to stick my fingers down my throat.

Some more background info is that… I’m African American and a junior in HS. Since kindergarten-now, I’ve been bullied. Mostly by boys saying that I was fat and black and… yeah. It took a toll on me. I cut and I’m still a cutter. I’m trying to stop but I get triggered easily by someone asking me about my weight or just thinking about all the bad things from the past. I could swear that I’m depressed but I haven’t really been diagnosed with it. My parents don’t get me tested and stuff. My brother gets tests done because he’s 12 and he has ADD and ADHD. So basically I feel left out most of the time and like no one cares. I come from a good family, though. I’m not gonna give you a sob story lol but I just wanted to know…

Am I abusing laxatives?
Do you think i’m depressed?
If I am abusing laxatives… does that qualify me as bulimic?

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