Open Question: What is it I’m afraid of?

29/06/11

I’ll go through a few scenarios for you. Am I afraid of independence, paranoid (like the rest of my family), afraid of getting things wrong, being alone or something else?

For example (I’m almost 16):

I’ve been catching the bus by myself for nearly 2 years. Before and sometimes on the bus I feel nauseous and sometimes a little shakey. As a general rule if I’m with a friend I’m better - but still nervous.

I fly with my parents and brother often but last week I flew alone with my little brother. I did it fine and it wasn’t a problem but I had mixed emotions. My mum (being paranoid) requested we have some assistance. I was really mad because I felt like I was being treated like a kid - which I’m clearly not. On the other hand on the plane when filling out immigration cards I was really nervous and felt a bit hopeless and that I wasn’t ready to be looking after my brother and myself (he’s 13 and has ADD).

Finally today - I’m with my parents in a country we used to live in - so I know fairly well. (we moved there when I was 10, then moved back when I was 13). My mum said my brother and I could take the train somewhere and I started freaking out. Thankfully she changed her mind but yeah.

No one else my age seems to have these troubles and I find it really pathetic. I think I just have trouble with independence, or I’m terrified of failing or saying something stupid. As much as I desperately want independence and want to be treated like an adult, I can’t seem to grasp it. Everyone has always done everything for me and now having to grow up and get away from it is taking it’s toll.

Any advice to get over this would be greatly appreciated.

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