Resolved Question: Adopt one or two kids at the same time?

27/06/10

I’m undecided between adopting one or two kids. I already have 2 bio boys at home 5 and 1.

I spoke with my friend and she told me you will stretch yourself thin with 4 kids, think about your poor husband who has to work so hard to support everybody. It’s not fair to him. Think about your small older house with 1 bathroom, sports and activities for each kid, clothes, college savings, time! You are not prepared to handle 4 kids. You don’t simply have the resources. You barely scraping money for this adoption. Your bio kids will suffer because you will concentrate your attention on the 2 new kids and not on them. That’s not fair. Think about your family first, you can’t save the world, your own should come first.

Ironically my friend has 6 kids herself, 2 adopted! She says her husband makes more, she has a lot bigger house, is older and more stable and her personality allows her to handle that many kids. My case is different.

Psychologists also believe it’s a lot better to adopt one at a time especially if kids have been hurt in the past and need healing and bonding with adoptive parents.

My husband also thinks one child will be easier to handle and he is not sure about two, especially if I want to go back to work eventually.

I did not think of adopting 2 initially but I have seen more paperwork than I ever would like in my life and I never want to go through that process again. Now going through the same process I can bring two children rather than 1 and make a drastic positive difference in two lives. I also want one kid in between 5 and 1 and one little baby.

Country where I’m adopting from is violent and extremely poor, it really has a bleak future for those orphans.

I think it’s going to be tough but manageable, no extras or luxuries such as going out, expensive vacations, fancy clothes, or anything like that.

Would you one or two? What would be your reasoning?
I can’t stop adoption all together we are in final stages
They might not be real sibling
Mom 23, you are right, we could stop the adoption but have not desire to and no reason too. We can afford nessesities and education for our children. As I said we cannot afford LUXURIES!
There is a huge difference between living in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house and not going on expensive vacations and a child living in overcrowded orphanage without any care and love and eating one bowl of rice if lucky and getting abused on a regular basis!

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