Resolved Question: I love two girls dearly and I can’t choose between the two.?

27/06/10

I met Anne 18 months ago. We had some great times at the beginning but I always found myself wanting more, but never did anything about it and worked hard at our relationship.
She’s a lovely girl but always needs someone in her life, she’s very dependent on people.
I found myself resenting her occasionally as I too needed attention and found myself always having to give it.
She’s such a sweet girl, but sometimes too sweet and that frustrated me as she got walked over from time to time.
We ended up moving in together and everything seemed Ok.
Well, she was over the moon and found myself feeling more and more trapped. Having to convince her I loved and cared for her. This took it’s toll on me.
Do I sound bad saying that ? We got on really well but were never on that same level you want out of a relationship.
I could explain things about work, life, music etc and it went straight over her head. I’d just get the “Ahh..”Erm..” Really”.. As if it was never being taken it.
I never got over the fact that I could come home after a bad day and explain everything to her with no advice back, on the other hand I always had to be a pool of information for her.
One day at work a girl came to our offices. She was working with us for 9 weeks on work placement. We clicked in so many ways it scared me. We got on so well from the start.
I promised myself nothing would come of it as it was so evident that we really liked each other.
To cut a long story short we ended up kissing on a night out and that was it. She’s such a beautiful girl, listens to everything I say and understands.. Always has good advice to give me etc.. We did the usual office fling bit and went for lunches, walks in the park etc
I ended up moving out of my house with Anne and moving into my brother’s house whilst still seeing Ellen, the new girl.
Anne had no idea what was going on. I never told her I was seeing someone else, I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had.
Now 3 months down the line I don’t know which one I want to be with. I love Anne so much, but I also love Ellen with the same passion. It’s like Ellen gives me what Anne doesn’t and vice-versa.
Anne wants me back and Ellen and I are still together.
Part of me wants to “go home” and part of me is scared to stay with Ellen.
I’m so confused. I love them both very much.
I guess one of the main reasons I can’t decide is because of where I am living. In a single room at my brother’s house.
My house with Anne is cool, we had it set up nice.. I miss that. I miss her. But when I see her it’s so different.
She’s the same sweet sweet girl who wouldn’t harm anyone? But at the same time she frustrates me because she’s so “soft”.
Ellen is the complete opposite. She’s a strong girl and I love her for that.
Anne is working away at the moment. She won’t be local to me for 3 or 4 months. I feel so lonely and desperate at times but how can I as I have Ellen? I miss Anne all the time but is it because I’m in a situation right now that I don’t like so I go for the easiest option and go home.
But what about Ellen? I can’t just walk out on that, I Love her. I can see us being together forever, but I thought that about Anne? I feel like such a shit. I never saw my life ending up like this, at 28 !
It seems so text-book. So, problem page in a mag.
I just wish I could turn the clock back.
Any advice is good advice, please help.