Just to warn you this is a small novel but I need advice!
About three months before my birthday my boyfriend of then 6 months got me a puppy. The problem is, is that she’s a horrible puppy. I am genuinely a very patient person but with her my patience shoots out of the window. She’s a German Shepherd lab mix and is super cute which always makes things harder.
Background info - I’m a full time college student, however I don’t work which is a nice luxury that I’m very thankful for. This is the one point in my life when I can be lazy and have fun! Minus retirement. I really wanted a puppy but my boyfriend told me that he wanted to wait to get one together and wait until we got married and had a house so that she could have a nice backyard to run around in. And of course I thought that was the sweetest thing ever so I agreed wholeheartedly! When he asked me what I wanted for my birthday I said that I wanted a puppy but then I also said that I wanted babies neither of which I actually wanted but a silly statement I always made. So he started looking for a puppy and when I went to his place he had her there as a surprise. And asked me immediately to tell him if i actually wanted her because he’d take her back and i felt horrible because she was the cutest thing i’ve ever seen and then he tells me that they found her in a dumpster with two other dead puppies. How was I supposed to say take her back?! So I decided to keep her. One thing that set me off quickly is that he said this is your dog! And i was like uhh what? Cause he was ranting and raving about how he wanted to get a dog TOGETHER…then he nicely added now you have to get a job. He was changing my whole life in ten minutes!
My father was quite furious, since he is the one supporting me, he was not going to pay for my dog, so he also added in you have to get a job now and laughed boisterously… I live in an apartment complex and you have to pay $400 to keep a puppy, all the puppy shots, have dog insurance, and some weird license. But my boyfriend offered to pay it with money he did not have…
When I took her home for the first week it was overwhelming. I am a very patient person but she is the most annoying dog in the world! And I love dogs. But she is in your face jumping around 24/7. I had a freaking baby! It was ridiculous. I couldn’t go anywhere because I had her to look after and my family lives 30 minutes away and my boyfriend 2 hours. I also feel like I have to compete with the dog for his attention. He tells the dog all the time that she’s so pretty. And we can hardly have a conversation before he’s talking to the dog about something. It was very quickly decided that she was going to stay with him.
Fast Forward 4 months. My boyfriend has allowed our dog to acquire bad habits. She jumps on people like crazy, jumps up on the counters and walks on the tables. This irked me a lot! But he needed me to take her for winter break because his parents didn’t want him to bring her home with him so I agreed. She wakes up at 6:30 am every morning, peed on my bed 3 times (my beds very expensive) my apartment smells like pee and has poo stains everywhere. This is with me taking her out every other second where she enjoys to stare into the sky and not do her business. She’s chewed my phone and laptop charger, clothes, and blankets. (My place is doggie proofed) I can’t even go home because none of my family wants to put up with her. So I have to sit in my apartment isolated from everyone while my boyfriend has the time of his life at home sleeping in on his winter break and hanging with friends and family. But he always acts like what’s going on is no big deal.
He might not care that his place smells like piss but I do.
I find it incredibly difficult not to take out my frustrations with the puppy on him. And it has affected our relationship. I love my boyfriend to death and we both are on the bandwagon of getting married once we’re out of college but she has put such a stress in our relationship it’s ridiculous! He keeps telling me if I don’t want her then I have to be the one to give her to a shelter. I feel like I keep getting the shitty end of the stick. And it doesn’t help that all my friends keep telling me that this is what it’s going to be like when I have kids because I want kids dearly and am terrified that I won’t be a sufficient mother especially considering my own mothers lack of presence.
I feel like him getting me this puppy is making me feel like an incompetent person and that I will be just as bad as my mother, in that case having children would be out of the picture?
I guess my question is, is it me or is she just not the right dog for me? And does not having the patience for a puppy mean i’ll be a bad parent? And is it unreasonable for me to get upset with my boyfriend even though he thought he was giving me a good surprise? Oh lordy help please

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