I started a permanent job 5 months ago and I am thinking of leaving.

I have always been a contractor or unemployed in the past and I find it hard. Hard because there is no end and also because I got used to my unemployed mindset (unemployment between contracts) where I had long holidays…

I am not a lazy person but have made the wrong choices in my life because of a lack of objectives, I guess.

Besides, I have problems with one of the managers and 4 other employees sent negative feedback for my end-year review – I did not sign this document yet because I disagree.
It is a mid-level career job.

Time spent on travel (4 to 5h a day to come to work-both ways) is starting to take its toll and I hardly have a private life. Weekends are spent relaxing/recovering. I come home at 8:30pm every day.

During the last 2 weeks, I felt stressed because of the situation with the manager (the management structure is unusual in this company as many managers can manage you!) and also because I am scared about my future with this company. I am 35. This is mainly due to the feedback I received from colleagues , the travel which is affecting my work, and the frustration when I see people younger than me having more than 10 yrs of service in this company and they have a life.

The only reason why I joined this company is because of the recession.

I am also scared because I have no friends and family in this country and I need to go abroad to see them. I only have 22 days a year holidays. I came in this country 2 yrs ago because I hate my home country (Italy).
My parents are getting old too and there are responsibilities back home. I have a brother with a disability and I am the legal carer/administrator.

At the moment, employees around me noticed that I have difficulties with the job and with the manager I work with. A few of them are taking advantage of my situation by making me feel bad, using offensive words…

I don’t know what to do
I am taking some holidays next week to rest and forget

Thanks for your advice. Louisa

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