I have a friend who I have known for about 10 years.She doesn’t work or have a college degree,stays at home while her husband works.In the beginning he made excellent money and they were able to afford a huge home and luxury vehicles and vacations.They have two grade school children who they dress in name brand only clothing.About 4 years ago,her husband lost his job and ever since then they have been struggling financially.They sold almost all the furniture in their home,and now are left with only beds,a couch,tv,dining table and a big pool table.
Although her husband has found another job,it doesn’t pay nearly as much as his last one did.They struggle each month to make the house payment,car payments,etc.She still doesn’t work,nor is she going to college.
The problem is that she blows all the money as soon as he gets the pay check.She refuses to wear anything not from a boutique or high end department store,buys expensive shoes and jewelry and still tries to live the lifestyle she once had.When ever we talk,she is always complaining about her money situation and how she is upset that her husband can’t make more than he does.She cries about not being able to save money,yet I’ll see her spend over $300 in one trip to the mall.
I have told her that there are sacrifices she needs to be willing to make to save money and get to the point she and husband used to be at,but it goes in one ear and out the other.I know the other ladies we are mutual friends with have money and are able to afford the life she once had and it makes her even more upset.She doesn’t want them to know the truth,so I have never mentioned it,nor would I.That’s not my place.I do know that they wouldn’t judge her,and they would support her and be nothing but understanding.But she still wants to keep this facade going.
I was really upset the other day when I found out she spent a crazy amount of money on a friends birthday gift and over drew her bank account.I could only think of her children,and how they were going to eat for the week until her husbands next paycheck came.She didn’t tell me this part,I found out through her husband.He had confided in my husband that he was overdrawn and he had to borrow some money from us.He didn’t want his wife (my friend) to know he had borrowed money from us,he was so embarrassed,so we didn’t say anything.I don’t mind helping out a friend in need,but the reason they were out of money was ridiculous.I didn’t say anything to her,but it bothers me.
The whole thing baffles me because she came from a very poor family,she once lived a life worse than what she has now.Why can’t she be grateful for what she does have left and stop pretending to be something she’s not?Why is it so important for her to try to impress everyone?
Should I just come out and say something,and if so how would I go about approaching this subject?

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