Resolved Question: What can I do to stay strong while my husband is gone?

26/02/11

My husband is in the Air Force. He is currently in Mississippi for another 4 months to finish up his Tech School before he finally comes home and we prepare to move to where ever they need him. We have a one year old little boy, and I am pregnant with our second son. I am due in the beginning of May, so my husband will miss the birth of our child. Throughout the last few months I have focused so much on staying strong for my husband and our son. I haven’t really allowed myself to feel all the emotions that come with our new military lifestyle. My husband left in November of last year so I have been on my own with most everything. We no longer have the luxury of being able to call and talk to each other, let alone have a long conversation in general.. I have always made sure to be positive and supportive of him when we talk. Now I am realizing that I need more from him to help get me by the next few months. What I want to hear most is his reassurance of his feelings for me and our family. Simple things that I didn’t know would mean so much to me until I haven’t been able to hear them for so long. He has room mates and virtually no privacy so I respect the fact that he can’t really get all lovey dovey on the phone with me in front of them. I want him to be able to go out and experience all that he can while he is away. Its no good joining something like the military and then moping about for however long. Its important to me that he can live the new life style that he has worked so hard for.
Lately I have been so overwhelmed about how thing are going to fall into place. We wont find out where we will be stationed until the end of march, and then I have to try and figure how we are going to move with a one year old, new born and a cat. Even thinking about giving birth with my husband there with me scares me to no end. I just wish that he could be here with me and we could deal with all of this and get through it together. I also worry about his extreme lifestyle change. Going to basic is not a walk in the park and I could definitely tell that it had it’s affects on him. I worry that he is going to be so used to being around single guys and only taking care of himself, that he wont be able to , or wont want to be home with me and the kids. By the time he comes home, our new son will already be a month old. He has been gone through most of the pregnancy and I am scared that he wont really feel attached. Coming home to a one year old that has reached so many mile stones with out you is hard enough, but coming home to a baby you have never been able to see growing, and being born.. I just hope that I can provide my husband with everything he needs to be comfortable and happy. I know how hard it has been on me throughout all of this, I can only imagine what its been like for him. I know in my heart that being home with me is all he wants, and that he is doing all of this for us. Its just hard having to do all of this on my own. Wow! A lot of stuff I have never really said, it feels nice to get off my chest.. I guess what I am looking for is any advice on how to get through these hard times, and any advice on how to keep staying strong even when the going gets tough.

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