Voting Question: How can I lose Love and sexual feelings for my female best friend.?

30/08/11

I like my best friend alot she means the world to me and I would take a bullet for her right now if I had to. But with that comes that I look at her in alot of sexual ways. and I don’t want too because she looks at me as literally her brother because we’ve been threw so much and I always stuck with her and her families never done that. but anyway when she gets boyfriends man the jealousy and hurt just literally kills me. Because I know there being able to get intimate and kiss her and cuddle with her and do everything that I can’t :(. We use to along time ago be kinda kinky and she’d “Tease” me and sometimes do things for me and not only that we were really close, because honestly she use to like me in a love type of way, and I know from more sources then one to back that up. Then at the height of it all at our closest I made a big mistake (not saying what) and it caused the whole “Tower” to come crashing down and we didn’t talk for a long time then she started coming back around and she told me she still loved me like I was her brother and that she would always be there for me and that she would never judge me over anything. so it continued on then she got a boyfriend that she loves dearly and it set me off it literally changed my whole mind like someone took a pair of wire cutters and cut the sanity wire and I just turned into a dickhead and no matter how hard I tried to change no matter how hard I prayed no matter how hard I did anything I couldn’t help it and it literally is just kicking my butt and tearing me apart. like almost an obsession. and its just destroying our friendship.I want to so hard lose these feelings. and try to fix things and prove to her I am strong enough. because i think of when we first met and how much fun and how happy we were just being friends but then I did what everybody says not to do I guess I fell clean in love with her. How can I just turn around lose all that for her because its having a toll on me physically and mentally I’ve fell into almost a depression.

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