Voting Question: Thoughts on this poem about Haiti?

27/06/10

Wondering what you guys think about this poem I’m working on. I decided to write about the Earthquake in haiti. It’s a free verse/spoken word from the POV of a person in the middle. I might extend and revise it some more later. I’m new at this, so any advice is appreciated.

I’m looking around; my eyes peeled
This can’t be possible, too unreal
magnitude of seven point zero
People cry out, “where’s out heroes?”

I’m looking…
For the fathers and the wives and the husbands
for the mothers and the brothers and loved ones
the friends and lovers and the baby sisters
the neighbors and the teachers and the baby sitters

A nightmare, but I’m not waking up
the ground disappears, breaking up
It all crumbles, homes and public housing
Death tolls reach the hundred thousands

I’m looking around, my eyes peeled
This can’t be possible, too unreal

Share and Enjoy: